Dear former friends.
I have not always been the greatest friend to you. Often times I seemed more like some monstrous nightmare that somehow managed its way into your life as something harmless and non threatening. And other times my cruel and narcissistic behavior seemed to make me inhuman. We'll here I am now, defeated and without purpose. You have won your battle and I have suffered my greatest loss.
Friendship is not something I can ever hope to regain. I've been given too many attempts to amend things but I always seem to have abused those second, and even third chances I was given. Some of you have been able to move on but for me it is a much harder task. Too many lives I've ruined have payed their heavy toll on my mind, body, and spirit and I cannot hope to have that weight lifted. So I will do what I can.
Amo/Vyen: Words cannot express how happy I was when I met you and was brought into your wonderful role play circle. The plots were exciting and it felt very good to be involved in something so large. I loved the world you created to exist alongside so many others and it was an honor to have been apart of it.
Marius: I was always afraid to speak to you because you had such powerful and detailed characters and you portrayed them beautifully in your art. I guess I was afraid to approach you because I felt I couldn't live up to your expectations. Regardless though I enjoyed what rp we had and I only wished it could have lasted longer.
Sylaess: You were always kind and forgiving despite the hell I created near the end. You introduced me to new music and always tried to include me in rp. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have had you as a friend.
Nevenia/Rachel: You always tried to see everyone's side without leaning in favor towards one side in particular. That is truly a rare and welcome ability for any friendly relationship and it's one I wished I had. You even tried to mediate arguments and calm tensions no matter how bad the outcome seemed. Don't ever change that.
Jidane: To have become friends with you was almost like a dream that I was afraid to wake up from. But my own selfish ways turned it into a nightmare. You were a great artist that I had hoped to aspire to be like one day and an even greater friend that I did not deserve in the end. I never wanted to push you to do something out of the norm in what little rp we had together but I always felt like I was doing something wrong to agitate you. Regardless I enjoyed our skype talks when we both felt up to chit chatting over a call.
Starshippain/Aldryn: I realize that my harsh actions against others upset you and I was too late to stop myself from harming our friendship even further. My headstrong beliefs were fueld by others acting In unison and it cost me a friend I enjoyed rping with on guild wars. You were always honest about your feelings over my actions and I did not see the warning signs of our inevitably doomed relationship. I only wish I could have done more to see it.
Yumi: it was a lot of fun to play a villain alongside your knight character. I enjoyed what little interactions that Sumi/Phel had with the Knight and your concepts are truly breathtaking. I only wish I got to spend more time rping with you.
Vesta: I remember when I first got to meet you in FFXIV. I'm glad that I got to know you and wasn't pushed away like some other people who had probably confronted you before hand. Regardless I'm happy that you and Amo are friends again. I'm just sad that our friendship ended with me making a fool of myself.
Roxen: I had fun with our "Scrawny and The Beast" role play we had going. It's sad though that we won't be able to complete it and find out what happens in the end. I'm sorry that we occasionally butted heads a lot and in turn ruined what friendly relationship we had.
To all my other former friends: For what it's worth, though probably meaningless; I'm sorry for the ways I have treated each and everyone of you. I know I've already tarnished my reputation beyond repair and that all I can offer is a thank you for the good times we had and shared.
I doubt this message will reach most of you, but if it does, I'm sorry for all the damage I've caused. Nothing can replace and mend the things I have broken and it's something I'm going to have to learn to live with until the day I die as best as I can.